Marriage is not for the faint hearted
Marriage is a complex relationship. I write this from the perspective of a strong and good marriage of 48 years. Jennifer and I delight in our son and daughter’s choices of a partner. We love to pieces our five grandchildren.
The path that we tripped down scraped our knees, picked ourselves up, is a twisting shadowy trail. I am privileged to meet with couples and individuals as a marriage therapist. From a personal standpoint and a professional perspective, I can say marriage is as much mystery as it is magic. Why did she say that? How did he come up with this one?
As parents, we are touched when our little toddler picks our prized rose and says: Here Mommy this is for you! Grace opens our heart to receive a gift in the pain of losing a treasured part of ourselves. How deep the springs of grace flow from makes a difference in being open to the mystery and magic of loving and being loved.
In the complexity of our relationships, one thing shines like a lighthouse. What light can we bring to the shadows of our spouse? The insights we are surprised by? The statements we are hurt by? Where do we draw upon to understand and respond with honesty and grace to our spouses’ convictions?
Our development is an obvious starting point. I would argue that our history can only help us to the degree it gives us grace and honesty. If we do not rise above our history, we can only offer a limited degree of openness and acceptance. We can only offer what we have experienced. When we run out of insight, when we live in the shadows of our mistakes, when are unable to understand why they did what they did; we need another answer.
Combining our experience, our spouses’ insights with the wisdom and compassion of Jesus, we have the depth and complexity we need to stretch ourselves to live in joy with someone we do not understand. The resources following are to give more assistance to your work.
“He is the God of all comfort who comes alongside us when we are going through a hard time.” The Apostle Paul writing in 2 Corinthians 1:3
