It is distressing to see anyone overwhelmed by difficulties. ‘I run to death and death meets me as fast.’ This may not be your experience. I pray it is not. But when a person feels this helpless, it is critical to know other people – including Christians – have encountered these same emotions. John Donne’s insights come to us from the hardship of the sixteenth century. He witnessed deep suffering. He rested in God’s care.

It is also encouraging to witness the renewed determination an individual or couple exercise in saying: ‘Yes, we have problems. But what can we do about them?’ It is to this work of ‘repair’ that pastoral counseling addresses itself.

What is pastoral counseling? From my viewpoint, pastoral counseling affirms the deepest truths about us as people. It is a comprehensive understanding of our struggle. We live out the dynamics of our family life for good or for ill. But we have another family whose hold lies deeper still. We are the children of Adam and Eve. Pastoral counseling squarely faces the reality of the ‘decay’ seen in our wandering from grace. And it should offer clear and helpful answers as we struggle to work through the questions these experiences create. ‘You have made me’ are words of faith and confidence.

The reality of betrayal explains why seeking answers require faith. It requires taking risks. “Can I love again?” And, “Who would love me?” the clear answer of Jesus is: ” You can.” and “I do.” Why is He so certain? Because He knows, He will help you through the hard times.

Jennifer and I enjoy a deep and satisfying relationship. It didn’t happen by accident. We know the turmoil of marriage intimately. Sadly, we have hurt each other. But we have also come to learn that we are not alone in this. And slowly we have experienced the comforting grace and acceptance of our Lord. He has helped us through the fear to a real faith in Him and one another.

My journey started during my teens when I realized with fear that someday I would die. My search for certainty began with my willingness to disregard everything that my Catholic education offered me. It was a thorough education. At times the voice of the church spoke to me, while at other times I wondered if it could ever get it right!

I pursued this search the Navy in the sixties, seminary and college in the seventies and graduate work later.  I asked the same burning questions while I was a pastor of two churches. Where I wondered, was the goodness of God in the face of human suffering? Since 1983 I have worked in marriage and family relations, continuing to pursue these same uncertainties. It has been rewarding. The Lord has honored my questions. Most of all, He has deepened my awareness of His presence and compassion in the hard times.

– Jim